i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
