What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
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