she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I won't apologize to a one balled man
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
