Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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