I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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