True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I will pee on everything he values.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
