so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
