More tranny stories later!
I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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