I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
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