I think my fart just growled at me.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize
