am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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