If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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