So drunk its hurt
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
