I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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