Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
