remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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