Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
