We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize