Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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