I want to have your abortion
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
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