i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Randomize
