none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
