Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
