My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Randomize
