i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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