My nipple is on Facebook.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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