I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
