Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
