Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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