Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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