You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Randomize
