Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
