Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
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