dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Randomize
