She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
