HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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