i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
