I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
