whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
