At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
