Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
