I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize