Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
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