I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Your cock deserves a montage
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
