possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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