you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
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My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
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You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
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