Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
