people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
