Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
