We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Randomize
