Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
