What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
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he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
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There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
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