We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
