if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
