champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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