her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
