oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Randomize
