Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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