i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
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