i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
